I had a bad morning. Nothing much happened, really. It was just bad. Surprising how little it takes sometimes. I hadn't slept well, Evelyn woke earlier than usual, a stack of dirty dishes greeted me, a request for revisions came through my inbox, a fast-approaching deadline reminder popped up on my calendar, my dog wanted walked, my Bible study was far behind, people were coming to my home in a matter of hours, the church newsletter was sorely neglected.
I could keep going but it'll just make me upset again. (Particularly since many of those past-tense verbs should accurately be present-tense.) Mostly I think I was jealous of other mothers who don't need to work at all--never mind the fact that I'm abundantly blessed to work as little and as conveniently as I do!
Anyway, I decided I needed a good little yell followed by a good little cry. And after the good little cry, the day got better. I worked away as much as I could on my projects. I played with Evelyn. I walked to the bank and the store and on my way back decided to take the longer loop around the park so I could pray. This is what I prayed:
"Lord, all I want is for my needs to be met. Just give me food and let the bills be paid. Thank you that I don't even need to request it. Thank you that you're doing that already."
And, I'll be honest, I also prayed:
"I don't like needing to trust you for these things. But I thank you that I can."
Back at home, Evelyn mercifully (I know it was God) took a longer-than-normal nap and I made myself physically walk away from the computer and eat my lunch at the coffee table with my Beth Moore Bible study book out. Can you guess what today's study discussed? Prosperity and contentment!
Here's her prayer:
"More than anything else, O God, we pray that You would prosper our loved ones [read: me!] with an abundance of You! If they can handle some ease and earthly success in the process, so be it! But whatever You do, O God, insist that they live. Really live. 'The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: [You have] come that [we] might have life and that [we] might have it more abundantly.' (John 10:10) O Lord, make us courageous enough to pray that no earthly luxury would ever cheat us of true prosperity."
All I have to say to that is "AMEN!"
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
Happy Halloween!
I had given up on Halloween this year. Costume shops are depressing things. They are places where you can spend $50 on fabric that will barely survive the night. Places where men get arrested for peeping under women's dressing room doors (yes, we saw this happen). Places that make you think lingerie is actual clothing. Places that sell things like "Lord Lucifer" costumes, reminding you of the satanic nature of the holiday and making you question whether that bumble bee costume will somehow lead your infant daughter into future pagan worship.
If I had my way, we'd have locked the doors, shut off the lights, made hot chocolate, and watched old black and white Audrey Hepburn movies all night. (Mmm. Maybe we can do that next weekend.) But I didn't have my way. We had a church-sponsored Harvest Party to attend and a "Bean the Pirates" booth to man.
So I had a bumble bee costume for Evelyn. I thought I'd get a bumble bee costume for myself to match. Can I just say that there's a HUGE difference between infant, children's, and women's bumble bee costumes? Yikes! So I thought I'd wear an old frilly green skirt with an orange top, make myself a wand and maybe a tiara and be a "Pumpkin Fairy." Then Craig reminded me I'd thrown out the old frilly green skirt to save space. So then I wasn't going to be anything. Then Halloween morning dawned and I put on an orange top and black pants and suddenly thought, "I should just paint my face like a jack o'lantern!" So we head to the pharmacy to buy orange and black face paint. No go: they're all sold out. So we go to the crafts store. Again: sold out. So we make our way to that dreaded place full of bloody vampire teeth, peeping toms, and wannabe porn stars: the costume shop.
By this point, I'm really excited about my jack o'lantern idea. It's funny. It's cool. It's cheap. But Craig isn't content to buy the paint and leave. He wants to walk around, see if there's any last minute costume idea inspirations. And that's when we see it: a "bumble accessories kit" for $10. It has a ridiculously flimsy yellow and black striped chest piece that ties around your waist and neck, silly little glitter wings, and a black hood with yellow antennae. Pair these with yellow and black striped tights, throw on my black skirt and top, and there you have it: I'm a bumble bee after all.
I was pretty pleased with it most of the night. Particularly while waiting for the cross walk signal on my way to church when other pedestrians and skate boarders came to admire mine and Evelyn's matching costumes. Of course, then we got to the Harvest Party, where she quickly overheated and came out of her costume. Then I just felt like a silly little bee buzzing around all by my lonesome.
Well, not really. There was a pirate and Thumper to keep me company! (There was a walking oven with a bun inside too, but she didn't make it into the photo.)
If I had my way, we'd have locked the doors, shut off the lights, made hot chocolate, and watched old black and white Audrey Hepburn movies all night. (Mmm. Maybe we can do that next weekend.) But I didn't have my way. We had a church-sponsored Harvest Party to attend and a "Bean the Pirates" booth to man.
So I had a bumble bee costume for Evelyn. I thought I'd get a bumble bee costume for myself to match. Can I just say that there's a HUGE difference between infant, children's, and women's bumble bee costumes? Yikes! So I thought I'd wear an old frilly green skirt with an orange top, make myself a wand and maybe a tiara and be a "Pumpkin Fairy." Then Craig reminded me I'd thrown out the old frilly green skirt to save space. So then I wasn't going to be anything. Then Halloween morning dawned and I put on an orange top and black pants and suddenly thought, "I should just paint my face like a jack o'lantern!" So we head to the pharmacy to buy orange and black face paint. No go: they're all sold out. So we go to the crafts store. Again: sold out. So we make our way to that dreaded place full of bloody vampire teeth, peeping toms, and wannabe porn stars: the costume shop.
By this point, I'm really excited about my jack o'lantern idea. It's funny. It's cool. It's cheap. But Craig isn't content to buy the paint and leave. He wants to walk around, see if there's any last minute costume idea inspirations. And that's when we see it: a "bumble accessories kit" for $10. It has a ridiculously flimsy yellow and black striped chest piece that ties around your waist and neck, silly little glitter wings, and a black hood with yellow antennae. Pair these with yellow and black striped tights, throw on my black skirt and top, and there you have it: I'm a bumble bee after all.I was pretty pleased with it most of the night. Particularly while waiting for the cross walk signal on my way to church when other pedestrians and skate boarders came to admire mine and Evelyn's matching costumes. Of course, then we got to the Harvest Party, where she quickly overheated and came out of her costume. Then I just felt like a silly little bee buzzing around all by my lonesome.
Well, not really. There was a pirate and Thumper to keep me company! (There was a walking oven with a bun inside too, but she didn't make it into the photo.)
After originally publishing this post, I found a photo of the walking oven in my inbox. Yay!
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Our Past Month
It's been about a month since my last post. In that time, we traveled back to Middle America for my sister's wedding. A new, fairly time-consuming freelance project (that will run through April) hit my inbox. I started babysitting my friend's 2 month old son. Evelyn started rolling over, laughing hysterically, croaking, humming, and talking to herself in general. And Craig ... well, Craig kept on doing what he does and then some. I worked until 11pm some nights and he picked up the slack with dishes, dinners, and errands. Hopefully, new projects have settled down, I've hit my groove, and our new babysitting arrangement will help me devote more time and attention to being a mother while still letting me make a bit of money.
Here's a photo recap to get everyone up to speed.
While in Middle America, we caught up with old friends (who had a baby exactly five days after we did!) and visited a real, live pumpkin patch. You know, the kind where they actually have pumpkins growing from the ground. Where there's corn mazes and squash sling shots and hay rides.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Firsts
Today some friends of ours threw a party to reveal the gender of their unborn baby. There was colored cake, ice cream, and games (some of you will remember when Craig and I threw a similar party). One of the games we played was "Baby Family Feud," complete with such baby-minded questions as "What event don't parents want to miss?" Most of the answer revolved around "firsts:" first steps, first words, etc.
Well, we've had a lot of firsts today. Most notably, Evelyn rolled over for the first time! We're pretty certain it was an accident, but still. She was laying on her back on our bed and Craig held out his arms and said, "Come to Daddy!" And much to his surprise, she did! (Well, she tried.) She rolled from her back onto her side towards him; the softness of the bed pushed her on over to her belly--much to her chagrin.
Today we also (finally!) managed to capture our sweet little bird's precious laugh on camera. We've been trying for a couple weeks now, but she stops as soon as she sees a camera. She's quite the giggle box, as you can see. We even grabbed a good clip of her belly laugh in this clip! (And oh yeah--our friends are having a boy: Gabriel John.)
Well, we've had a lot of firsts today. Most notably, Evelyn rolled over for the first time! We're pretty certain it was an accident, but still. She was laying on her back on our bed and Craig held out his arms and said, "Come to Daddy!" And much to his surprise, she did! (Well, she tried.) She rolled from her back onto her side towards him; the softness of the bed pushed her on over to her belly--much to her chagrin.
Today we also (finally!) managed to capture our sweet little bird's precious laugh on camera. We've been trying for a couple weeks now, but she stops as soon as she sees a camera. She's quite the giggle box, as you can see. We even grabbed a good clip of her belly laugh in this clip! (And oh yeah--our friends are having a boy: Gabriel John.)
Monday, September 20, 2010
Doing Life Together
Today's my birthday. As my mom reminded me last night at about 9pm, "29 years ago [she] was laboring HARD to bring a reluctant baby into the world." It's also the day that my own little one turns 16 weeks old (aka: 4 months).
It's tough being so far away from family on days like this (and not just because my father-in-law, in his eagerness to wish me a happy birthday and apparently forgetting the two hour time difference, woke me at 3:45am with a text message!). It's made the more difficult knowing that today is also my little nephew's 2nd birthday, tomorrow is my little sister's 26th birthday, and Saturday is my mother's (we'll leave it blank) birthday. But praise God, for He has blessed me with an amazing community of adopted family and friends clear out here in Southern California.
Craig and I had various church leadership meetings to attend yesterday afternoon. In the women's meeting, our women's pastor talked about her hometown in Maine of 700 people, a general store, an antique shop that's always closed, and two churches of 70 members each. She described the fund-raising jars set up in the general store and gas station to raise money for a teenaged boy who fell off a roof and his single mother. She described the outpouring of love (and food!) that the community gave her as she mourned a death in the family. She described the unlocked doors, the tire swings, the children riding bikes down the middle of the road. I sat in the meeting and felt homesickness wash over me. I thought, "That's what I had. That's what I want for my Evelyn."
Well, as my mother so wisely pointed out to me in August: God has me exactly where He wants me. God has Evelyn exactly where He wants Evelyn. If Evelyn needed family nearby, He would have us near family. But He doesn't, because she doesn't. He has us here because, for whatever reason, here is where she (and I and Craig) need to be.
In the general leadership meeting following my bout of homesickness, our head pastor talked about his desire for our church to grow in community. And he defined community as "doing life together." Community is not about tire swings and unlocked doors. It's about pouring love into other people's lives as you go through life together. And that's exactly what Craig and I have been blessed with out here. We have a community tucked away in this massive urban sprawl. We mourn together, we celebrate together, we eat, fast, and pray together. We do life together.
Praise God! (I'm so blessed to have you guys--you know who you are!)
Meanwhile, here's a video of my baby. Because I know that's the only reason most of you read this blog anyway.
It's tough being so far away from family on days like this (and not just because my father-in-law, in his eagerness to wish me a happy birthday and apparently forgetting the two hour time difference, woke me at 3:45am with a text message!). It's made the more difficult knowing that today is also my little nephew's 2nd birthday, tomorrow is my little sister's 26th birthday, and Saturday is my mother's (we'll leave it blank) birthday. But praise God, for He has blessed me with an amazing community of adopted family and friends clear out here in Southern California.
Craig and I had various church leadership meetings to attend yesterday afternoon. In the women's meeting, our women's pastor talked about her hometown in Maine of 700 people, a general store, an antique shop that's always closed, and two churches of 70 members each. She described the fund-raising jars set up in the general store and gas station to raise money for a teenaged boy who fell off a roof and his single mother. She described the outpouring of love (and food!) that the community gave her as she mourned a death in the family. She described the unlocked doors, the tire swings, the children riding bikes down the middle of the road. I sat in the meeting and felt homesickness wash over me. I thought, "That's what I had. That's what I want for my Evelyn."
Well, as my mother so wisely pointed out to me in August: God has me exactly where He wants me. God has Evelyn exactly where He wants Evelyn. If Evelyn needed family nearby, He would have us near family. But He doesn't, because she doesn't. He has us here because, for whatever reason, here is where she (and I and Craig) need to be.
In the general leadership meeting following my bout of homesickness, our head pastor talked about his desire for our church to grow in community. And he defined community as "doing life together." Community is not about tire swings and unlocked doors. It's about pouring love into other people's lives as you go through life together. And that's exactly what Craig and I have been blessed with out here. We have a community tucked away in this massive urban sprawl. We mourn together, we celebrate together, we eat, fast, and pray together. We do life together.
Praise God! (I'm so blessed to have you guys--you know who you are!)
Meanwhile, here's a video of my baby. Because I know that's the only reason most of you read this blog anyway.
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
My Life Lately
The problem with blogs is that (at least in my experience) when you have the time to actually write them, you have nothing to say--that's why you have so much time on your hands. But when you have a lot to report, you have absolutely no time to sit down and report it. Well, that's been my life the past few weeks since my last post, so here's a brief pictoral overview.
Two weeks ago, we loaded Evelyn up for her very first plane ride. Despite a mammoth poop blowout that occurred in the security line (and was discovered when I lifted her out of her carseat to go through the metal detectors), it was really uneventful. She smiled and made friends with everyone around us before falling fast asleep.
We landed in Kansas City at 5:45pm Friday evening and were at a wedding by 7pm, where Evelyn met Great Grandma Norie, Great Aunts Millie and Dorothy, her soon-to-be uncle KC, and a whole host of second and even third cousins.(Yes, the third cousin pictured with Evelyn below is two weeks older and weighs half as much. My baby is such a chub-a-wub!)
Around 10pm, we left the Kansas City metro area for a two hour ride to our hometown, where we bedded down for the night late and woke semi-early to get things ready for my sister's bridal shower the next day. Craig took Evelyn with him to his parents' house, where she met her Cousins Ethan and Kendall, her Aunt Andrea and Uncle Chad, and her Big Papa.
Prior to the bridal shower, she posed for a four-generation photo shoot with me, my sister, my mom, and Grandma Norie.
After the bridal shower, she got to meet Great Grandparents Trautwein, Great Aunts Susan and Shelly, Second Cousin Jen, and a whole host of other greats and seconds.
Then on Sunday, she and I headed to a baby shower held in her honor, where she met Great Great Aunts, Great Aunts, Second Cousins, etc. that she hadn't yet met. Other family members are currently hoarding these photographs. :)
Monday, we took her to Great Grandma Phyllis and Great Grandpa Joe's house, where she met several people, including Great Great Aunt Jean and Third Cousin (is that the right relationship? My dad's cousin.) Kathy (who didn't like having her picture taken).
We arrived back in SoCal around noon on Tuesday, where my best friend Rachel had been struggling unsuccessfully to start labor for several days (really, let's be honest, several weeks). She was induced on Wednesday and gave birth to Evelyn's betrothed, Liam Eric.
After this, our joyous string of events turned sour. Our beloved dog of almost five years, Chloe, (who has been progressively becoming more and more aggressive) escaped out of our house and proceeded to attack a neighbor's small dog. Being unable to afford the expense of a pet behaviorist, knowing we can't keep her around so many small children, and unable to find a no-kill shelter willing to take her in, we came to the very difficult decision to end her life yesterday, August 31. She was a very loving, loyal pet to our family and the house seems very empty without her, but we know that she had a happy, love-filled life and that she never suffered loneliness or pain. Here's how we choose to remember her.
Two weeks ago, we loaded Evelyn up for her very first plane ride. Despite a mammoth poop blowout that occurred in the security line (and was discovered when I lifted her out of her carseat to go through the metal detectors), it was really uneventful. She smiled and made friends with everyone around us before falling fast asleep.
We landed in Kansas City at 5:45pm Friday evening and were at a wedding by 7pm, where Evelyn met Great Grandma Norie, Great Aunts Millie and Dorothy, her soon-to-be uncle KC, and a whole host of second and even third cousins.(Yes, the third cousin pictured with Evelyn below is two weeks older and weighs half as much. My baby is such a chub-a-wub!)
Around 10pm, we left the Kansas City metro area for a two hour ride to our hometown, where we bedded down for the night late and woke semi-early to get things ready for my sister's bridal shower the next day. Craig took Evelyn with him to his parents' house, where she met her Cousins Ethan and Kendall, her Aunt Andrea and Uncle Chad, and her Big Papa.
Prior to the bridal shower, she posed for a four-generation photo shoot with me, my sister, my mom, and Grandma Norie.
After the bridal shower, she got to meet Great Grandparents Trautwein, Great Aunts Susan and Shelly, Second Cousin Jen, and a whole host of other greats and seconds.
Monday, we took her to Great Grandma Phyllis and Great Grandpa Joe's house, where she met several people, including Great Great Aunt Jean and Third Cousin (is that the right relationship? My dad's cousin.) Kathy (who didn't like having her picture taken).
We arrived back in SoCal around noon on Tuesday, where my best friend Rachel had been struggling unsuccessfully to start labor for several days (really, let's be honest, several weeks). She was induced on Wednesday and gave birth to Evelyn's betrothed, Liam Eric.
After this, our joyous string of events turned sour. Our beloved dog of almost five years, Chloe, (who has been progressively becoming more and more aggressive) escaped out of our house and proceeded to attack a neighbor's small dog. Being unable to afford the expense of a pet behaviorist, knowing we can't keep her around so many small children, and unable to find a no-kill shelter willing to take her in, we came to the very difficult decision to end her life yesterday, August 31. She was a very loving, loyal pet to our family and the house seems very empty without her, but we know that she had a happy, love-filled life and that she never suffered loneliness or pain. Here's how we choose to remember her.
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