I want to live!

I had a bad morning. Nothing much happened, really. It was just bad. Surprising how little it takes sometimes. I hadn't slept well, Evelyn woke earlier than usual, a stack of dirty dishes greeted me, a request for revisions came through my inbox, a fast-approaching deadline reminder popped up on my calendar, my dog wanted walked, my Bible study was far behind, people were coming to my home in a matter of hours, the church newsletter was sorely neglected.

I could keep going but it'll just make me upset again. (Particularly since many of those past-tense verbs should accurately be present-tense.) Mostly I think I was jealous of other mothers who don't need to work at all--never mind the fact that I'm abundantly blessed to work as little and as conveniently as I do!

Anyway, I decided I needed a good little yell followed by a good little cry. And after the good little cry, the day got better. I worked away as much as I could on my projects. I played with Evelyn. I walked to the bank and the store and on my way back decided to take the longer loop around the park so I could pray. This is what I prayed:

"Lord, all I want is for my needs to be met. Just give me food and let the bills be paid. Thank you that I don't even need to request it. Thank you that you're doing that already."

And, I'll be honest, I also prayed:

"I don't like needing to trust you for these things. But I thank you that I can."

Back at home, Evelyn mercifully (I know it was God) took a longer-than-normal nap and I made myself physically walk away from the computer and eat my lunch at the coffee table with my Beth Moore Bible study book out. Can you guess what today's study discussed? Prosperity and contentment!

Here's her prayer:

"More than anything else, O God, we pray that You would prosper our loved ones [read: me!] with an abundance of You! If they can handle some ease and earthly success in the process, so be it! But whatever You do, O God, insist that they live. Really live. 'The thief cometh not but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: [You have] come that [we] might have life and that [we] might have it more abundantly.' (John 10:10) O Lord, make us courageous enough to pray that no earthly luxury would ever cheat us of true prosperity."

All I have to say to that is "AMEN!"